Game Shows That Make You Squirm
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Oct 27, 2012

Game Shows That Make You Squirm

The Cringe Factor

There can be few programmes in the History of british television that produce as many toe-curling moments as the game shows, the inventions of twisted minds to denigrate, humiliate and ridicule the general public and make stars of the borderline insane. Showcases for nutty participants and nauseating presenters, here are the top ten most ridiculous game shows ever!

  1. Dales Supermarket Sweep
    You would think that the nation’s house wives would have had enough of supermarket shopping in their daily lives but apparently not. In this truly terrible show, teams of slightly odd people race around a fake supermarket trying to fill their trolleys. A bit like Saturday afternoon at Tesco then!
  2. Hole in the Wall
    I can’t think of anything more inane than a group of idiotic celebrities trying to contort their bodies into a shape that will fit through a hole in a wall! Does anyone get the point of this human Tetris apart from the fact that it raises money for charity? I’d make a donation not to watch it! This one was also originally hosted by Dale Winton who seems to have made a career out of presenting the worst programmes in history.

  3. Golden Balls (video game)
    (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
    Golden Balls
    This short-lived howler was presented by Jasper Carrott and bored the nation into a coma showing contestants trying to guess which amongst them were lying about the value of, yes you’ve guessed it, their golden balls. Sounds like the House of Commons to me.
  4. Family Fortunes
    This one’s all right if you are brain dead! Several different hosts have fought manfully on screen to sound enthusiastic about two families failing to answer the most idiot level questions like “name something you find in a toilet”. Two of the presenter, Bob Monkhouse and Max Bygraves, are now dead, probably from embarrassment!
  5. The Golden Shot
    Bob Monkhouse again ! The Golden Shot was a strange form of archery featuring Bernie the Bolt loading the ammunition and members of the public directing a blindfolded cameraman to aim the crossbow at a target by shouting “Up a bit, down a bit”. It wasn’t one of life’s great intellectual challenges!
  6. Treasure Hunt
    A very strange programme indeed! The hunt featured two somewhat pompous teams using reference material in the studio to solve clues in order to send Anneka Rice, a basket case if ever there was one, to different locations by helicopter.

  7. Larry Grayson on The Generation Game
    Larry Grayson on The Generation Game (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
    The Generation Game
    If ever there was a forum deliberately designed to humiliate people this was surely it. Teams of two family members competed in various games for the chance to win prizes. The games often involved trying to master a skill demonstrated by a professional with calamitous outcomes. The only thing I liked was the inevitable cuddly toy on the conveyor belt at the end.
  8. The Price is Right
    An appalling spectacle of screaming and greed, the price is right called on audience members to
    “come on down” to guess the prices of merchandize for the chance to win various prizes. Being called to the stage always seemed to induce hysteria in the contestants who must have been chosen for the show only on the basis of their lunacy.
  9. Bullseye
    Hosted by Jim Bowen, this programme was the last word in banality. The game consisted of two teams answering questions and throwing darts in an attempt to win mostly underwhelming prizes. What a load of Bull that was !
  10. It’s a Knockout
    What can you say about the ludicrous spectacle of people in penguin costumes attempting to negotiate slippery surfaces to fill up storage tanks of coloured water? Pointless ! The show will always be remembered for the hysterical laughter of presenter Stuart Hall as he attempted to describe some of humanity’s most ridiculous endeavours.

The Future

Television games shows seem to offer a bottomless pit of opportunities for people with no discernible ability to compete in totally pointless games egged on by the delirious utterings of crazy presenters. I can’t wait to see what they will come up with next !

More from our guest writer: They're almost as entertaining as watching a round of 'It's a Knockout'... the fabulous range of Rice storage baskets keep the clutter down and look great!